this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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