and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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