this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
