Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
