That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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