so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
