so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
