I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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