it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
