Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
