So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize