Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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