She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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