glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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