Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize