ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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