thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
