what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
