He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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