he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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