I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
