dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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