idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
