I got her a Nickelback box set.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
