So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
