he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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