I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
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It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
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Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss