ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
