Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize