turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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