I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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