i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
