Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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