Your face is a jimmy john
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
