apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
