does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
