no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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