that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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