Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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