I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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