Non-Jews are for practice
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
