I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
