before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize