its not stalking. its research.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were trust falling into bushes
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
