every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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