Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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