So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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