I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we made out on top of his cat.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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