So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
