I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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