it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
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Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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