So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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