I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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