All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
