Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he was CRYING into my vagina
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
