I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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