I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize