Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
