I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize