college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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