Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
