i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
