Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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