i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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